So, I'm doing the Beth Moore Bible Study in a Small Group through Church of the Highlands. I was really looking forward to this particular week - about meanness - and mean people. I needed to hear this!! First, there is always someone in your life that you think is mean - either their actions or their words seem to be mean to you - a personal attack on you, or at least that's how you see it even if they don't mean anything personal by their actions/words. One of the big points of the session was that meanness is the result of a threat.
Well, I've never really thought of it that way. So after managing to run my mouth forever after watching the session dvd, I just realized that I've handled similar situations and moved on, let go - but this one issue just hangs on. I drive Jason crazy with it and struggle - really struggle with it. The one thing I need to do is change MY reaction. I have no control at all over what someone says or does to me, around me, near me - but I can certainly change my reaction. I've just realized that even though I don't think of myself as a 'mean girl' - the way I react to some of the 'mean girls' in my life, causes me to act in a mean way - even if it isn't verbalized to that person. There's been other situations in my life previously where I've set out to change my reaction specifically and it's made a big difference in my life. This one relationship is where I haven't seemed to tackle this problem but I'm working on it!! I'm making a huge effort to work on it. NOW!!
So why are girls/ladies/women this way? It's nuts. I've been involved with so many groups of friends where drama occurs - somewhere - and its usually based on nothing - nothing but she said/she said! I've never been a super secure person. I've always had self esteem issues. I've always thought I was missing out of something - like there was some big secret going on that I don't know about it and everyone else does. I know, I know - stupid. Anyway, this Beth Moore study has been great. I'm learning a lot - even if I'm not doing my homework!! Beth Moore is so so funny. I mean, she really really tells it how it is and she's dead on everytime.
Okay - so that's all I've got today - I'm going to pick up some more boxes tomorrow from the grocery store so I can start packing up more. We've put off the remainder of the move until next weekend since it looks like it may rain this Saturday. We don't have much left to move in the furniture department, but the entire kitchen needs to be packed!! And, believe it or not, there is still a good amount of 'stuff' in my studio and Cole still has a good amount of toys here, too!
So, off to pack a few things and accomplish something.