Sunday, October 12, 2008

Prayer request

I just heard from my cousin that someone we grew up with died. Her name was Kristin.

I used to baby sit her, I used to watch her cheer at North Highlands ball park while her brother played peewee football. I used to play with her and dress her up. Her big sister and I used to plan her wardrobe so she would be THE coolest girl in Kindergarten! Her sister (Ana), me and my cousin were the best of friends for a long time. We lost touch and just heard what each other were up to through my aunt and her mom. I worked for her mom for a while. I worked for her aunt, too. So, most of the time, I still knew what was going on in their lives - both Ana and Kristin.

Kristin and her mom moved to Mobile while we were there. Instantly I felt this need to be back in touch with them. Kay (her mom) was always so good to me. That had not changed over the years. I felt like Kristin's big sister. She worked with me at McRae's. She dated one of our best friends, Neil. She stood up with us at our wedding. She helped me pick out my wedding dress. She helped with tons of things during that crazy time (we planned our wedding in 5 months). She gave me a bridal shower where we worked - organized it all and planned for my favorite punch and food.

She had lots of problems growing up. She just went through a lot - lots of pain and lots of confusion. I'm not sure what's been going on in the last 8 years though. She moved back to Birmingham and it was hard to keep in touch. Well, it wasn't hard - we were just in two very different places. I was at home raising a newborn. Her and Neil broke up and he moved back to Mobile. We just lost our connection. I wanted to look out for her - be another big sister to her - what I had always felt like. It hurt my feelings that she didn't want to be my friend anymore - now that she didn't live near me and I had a baby, she thought we had nothing in common. She just wasn't interested in that at the time. I missed her. She was a fun girl.

Several months ago, I don't even remember when, she messaged me on myspace and wanted to by my 'friend' - I accepted her friend request but we never talked. Not one little message. I didn't make one comment on her photos of her sweet little boy. Not one comment on her photos of her pretty smiling face. I regret that. Maybe she was reaching out to me - wanting to say hey but didn't know how since it had been so long. I don't know. I just hate that I didn't just say 'hey kris! what's up?'

Now I'll never get the chance. I did go check out her myspace tonight after getting the call. It says she lives in Florida - I don't think I knew that. I'm not sure where she was when it happened. When she died. I don't know. Now all I can think about is her mom, her sister and brother, her baby boy, her dad, her whole family. Since I hadn't heard about any drama in her life - I assumed she'd grown out of it and had settled down. I assumed she was fine. I was wrong.
Please say a prayer for her family. Her mom and my aunt where the best of friends growing up. It seems like our lives have always been intertwined. Almost like we were related. Almost like she was my younger sister, or younger cousin. Like her mom was my second mom at times. Her aunt was someone I could depend on, too. She gave me a job when I really needed one. She hired Jason at the same job. That's how we met.

Even though I haven't seen Kristin in about 7.5 years - I still miss her. and love her!

thanks for the prayers - I know they'll need them!


Virginia said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. I know that sick feeling of regret and wishing things had been just a little different... I know you, and I know how your kindness just kinda exudes from you, and I bet that she knew that you were there for her, regardless of myspace messages or not. I will be praying for her family & you... big hugs.

HoweverAlthough said...

I'm so sorry, Lisa. I know what you're feeling and it's not good. You really are such a loving and sweet soul...I'm sure she knew you were there for her if and when she needed you. I will be thinking of her family and of you. Sending big hugs in your direction.

gimmegodiva said...

I am so sorry.Things like this are so hard... please don't focus on the the "what ifs"-- Just think of the good times you guys had.


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