Well, it does. Back in August Cole had his check up at St. Jude - all was well, it was an easy visit. We were told we were on our last 6 month check up and now he only has MRI's once a year. Such a relief. We were able to get out a little and do a few things while we were there. We went to hang out at The Target House one night for an event they were having. We just really wanted to see what had changed there - we lived there for five months, so it was our home. Cole loves to go back and check it all out. Many things had changed - rooms updated, playgrounds updated - they always take care of the families there!!
We were standing in line to meet the Target Team drivers (Nascar, Indy car) and Jason started talking to a family in front of us. Their sweet boy had Cole's scar. He looked to be about Cole's age at diagnosis. His name is Justin. He wouldn't talk to us or Cole but we knew that was normal for the situation. He wanted to go back to the room because it was loud. His dad held him the whole time we were there. It was all so familiar. We talked for a long time, made it through the line, took our pictures with the racing guys and then talked a bit more. We swapped email and CaringBridge sites and chatted a little about what things we be like later. They were excited to see that Cole was fine - walking, talking - interested in most normal little boy things. We talked about how hard it is when it's all over, how hard it is to leave your new family and return home. How hard it is so leave the comforts of St. Jude - the people that know exactly what boat your in. The people who know how you can't sleep at night and worry over every cough, every time they can't go to the bathroom, every test, every bite they can't eat - all of it. We talked about how nice it will be to sleep in your own bed, and how you'd sleep all night again. I remember Justin's dad looking at Jason like those were all such magical words. We were both moved to tell them it was all going to be okay.
It's not okay.
Justin finished treatment and was released to go home in November. They had a great Thanksgiving. They began homeschooling and things were going well. Christmas was coming and they were doing fine. Justin was excited!! Then they didn't update their page for a week. When they updated, they had just found out that he had two tumors in his brain - not in the same location as the previous tumor. It was back. At the time, Justin wouldn't talk to them, he was very sick. He couldn't focus on anyone. He wasn't himself at all and it looked really bad. I've been praying that things would change. That he'd get a miracle. Yes, a miracle. They happen - they really do.
They had discussed surgery with the surgeon in Memphis. After talking it through, they decided against it and returned home. Hospice came and set everything up to keep him comfortable.
Things started to change once again. Justin started playing, reaching for people, giving kisses. He's still not talking, but able to focus and play Mario!! They decided to rescan, to see if anything had changed. The tumors were full of blood on the first scan, so I think, since he seemed to be improving, they thought the bleeding had stopped. My thoughts were maybe the tumors weren't as bad once the bleeding stopped. I was praying for a miracle. Praying the tumors would just be gone. Stranger things have happened.
I have been stalking their site since yesterday morning. Checking my phone during class to see if there had been an update. Nothing.
Finally this afternoon, I got my email notification. Sadly, there are no changes. Justin's mom feels like they've just been given this opportunity to spend this time with him. Happy time when he's feeling okay and knows who they are and that they love him. I just cannot imagine how hard this is.
If you have the time, please pray for them. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kristietollett
I really can't imagine what they are going through. I wish I had words of wisdom, well, no I don't - I don't want any wisdom in dealing with what they are dealing with. But I wish I had words of comfort. That's what we thought we were giving them in August. We thought things really would be okay. I hate that they aren't.
We only spent a short amount of time with them and don't really know them, but still - my heart is breaking. You can read their site to see how things are going. He's getting a wish tomorrow from Make-a-Wish. He deserves so much more than that.
We are so so so very blessed!!!
Lisa
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sometimes, it's just too much, you know?
So, today I was on Facebook and scrolled down to see who's birthday was today, or tomorrow, so I could wish them a Happy Birthday. There were two and I opened each in a new window.
The first is a fellow cancer mom. Her son went through the same treatment Cole did but for a different brain tumor. His tumor came back with a short time of finishing treatment and sadly, there were no more options. Nothing they could do. We were in Memphis when they found out. I didn't know what to do or say. We all acted like nothing was wrong in front of Isaac. We just hung out and talked about anything but cancer. I remember going to tell them goodbye and getting a sweet hug for Isaac. He was so sweet and really really funny!! I remember one day in the medicine room (like an ER sort of - where kids go and get hooked up to their chemo, or medicine - things they don't have to spend the night for). He had one of those little laser light pens - you know you push the button and point it and the red light shows up. He was sitting across from Cole and his mom, me and Jason were all just talking - don't even remember what about. His mom starts laughing and we all realize he's pointing his laser light at my boobs - one at a time. He also had one of those little fart machines and would push the button anytime a nurse was around and everyone would crack up - well, usually not the nurse.
Anyway, went to the first birthday, which was Amy's - Isaac's mom, and typed out Happy Birthday and a message about having a wonderful day. Posted it. Scrolled down and saw messages that didn't make any sense. Everyone was saying they were thinking of her, especially today. I was beginning to wonder. I mean, thinking of her, sure - but shouldn't they be wishing her a happy birthday? Then I thought, surely her son didn't pass away on her birthday and I didn't realize and everyone is thinking of her today because it's the anniversary. No - that wasn't it. I kept scrolling down and saw messages about how she was so missed, it had been a year, how she touched their heart..........
I didn't understand what had happened. I kept looking, hoping for an answer. I found a like to a page titled "In Remembrance of.........." and I realize she was gone. The information stated she died of a broken heart. She died a year ago tomorrow. I just can't believe it.
Cancer sucks. No, she didn't have cancer but her heart was broken because of cancer. So many hearts that I know have been broken because of cancer.
Jason and I were just talking the other day about families dealing with cancer and how they make it, or don't make it - all the heartbreak. I told Jason that at times I feel like I got off too easy going through all we went through with Cole. There were so many times that another person may have completely fallen apart with the stress of the day - but I didn't. It's not because I'm super strong, or emotionally dead, or that I just know how to deal. God did it all - He held me up and carried the burden for me. I knew it then and I know it now. I just hate that there are some people in the world who don't have that feeling. My friend must not have felt like she could live here without her son. I can understand that. I can only imagine how heartbroken I would be in her shoes. I've tried very hard to not ever even think of that - think of the what if's that could have happened to Cole - so many times.
I'm just heartbroken over this and just wish I'd known - I know there's nothing I could have done - but still.........
Cancer really sucks.
The first is a fellow cancer mom. Her son went through the same treatment Cole did but for a different brain tumor. His tumor came back with a short time of finishing treatment and sadly, there were no more options. Nothing they could do. We were in Memphis when they found out. I didn't know what to do or say. We all acted like nothing was wrong in front of Isaac. We just hung out and talked about anything but cancer. I remember going to tell them goodbye and getting a sweet hug for Isaac. He was so sweet and really really funny!! I remember one day in the medicine room (like an ER sort of - where kids go and get hooked up to their chemo, or medicine - things they don't have to spend the night for). He had one of those little laser light pens - you know you push the button and point it and the red light shows up. He was sitting across from Cole and his mom, me and Jason were all just talking - don't even remember what about. His mom starts laughing and we all realize he's pointing his laser light at my boobs - one at a time. He also had one of those little fart machines and would push the button anytime a nurse was around and everyone would crack up - well, usually not the nurse.
Anyway, went to the first birthday, which was Amy's - Isaac's mom, and typed out Happy Birthday and a message about having a wonderful day. Posted it. Scrolled down and saw messages that didn't make any sense. Everyone was saying they were thinking of her, especially today. I was beginning to wonder. I mean, thinking of her, sure - but shouldn't they be wishing her a happy birthday? Then I thought, surely her son didn't pass away on her birthday and I didn't realize and everyone is thinking of her today because it's the anniversary. No - that wasn't it. I kept scrolling down and saw messages about how she was so missed, it had been a year, how she touched their heart..........
I didn't understand what had happened. I kept looking, hoping for an answer. I found a like to a page titled "In Remembrance of.........." and I realize she was gone. The information stated she died of a broken heart. She died a year ago tomorrow. I just can't believe it.
Cancer sucks. No, she didn't have cancer but her heart was broken because of cancer. So many hearts that I know have been broken because of cancer.
Jason and I were just talking the other day about families dealing with cancer and how they make it, or don't make it - all the heartbreak. I told Jason that at times I feel like I got off too easy going through all we went through with Cole. There were so many times that another person may have completely fallen apart with the stress of the day - but I didn't. It's not because I'm super strong, or emotionally dead, or that I just know how to deal. God did it all - He held me up and carried the burden for me. I knew it then and I know it now. I just hate that there are some people in the world who don't have that feeling. My friend must not have felt like she could live here without her son. I can understand that. I can only imagine how heartbroken I would be in her shoes. I've tried very hard to not ever even think of that - think of the what if's that could have happened to Cole - so many times.
I'm just heartbroken over this and just wish I'd known - I know there's nothing I could have done - but still.........
Cancer really sucks.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Happy 5 Years Cancer Free
Today is the day!! Cole has been cancer free for five years today. First, sorry the last post was so long and so similar to the post last year on the same day. I should have checked that first and tried to find something else to say!!
Cole had a decent time in the hospital before his surgery - I mean, he was hooked up to all kinds of stuff, but people were coming to see him and bringing him treats!! He loved that. I think he just began to expect that each person that came in to visit would have a toy for him!! He spent most of this time in the bed playing or watching movies. But we spent lots of time in the floor of our teeny tiny PICU room putting together puzzles. I bet we did 30 puzzles in those days in the hospital. It almost became a test to see how many puzzles we could find that he could put together. You know, those little puzzles that are around $3 and have 25 pieces. We had them all!! Seriously!!!
Surgery went fine. They completely removed the tumor. We had some issues to deal with - nerve damage - but hey - he was okay! The cause of all those problems was gone. This was just the beginning of his journey though. I think I was pretty naive to think that the surgery was the hard part. There was so much more that was difficult. But that's another story for another day!
Anyway - five years cancer free is amazing. We are so thankful for that. God truly carried us all through this journey. There's no doubt in my mind about that.
Cole had a decent time in the hospital before his surgery - I mean, he was hooked up to all kinds of stuff, but people were coming to see him and bringing him treats!! He loved that. I think he just began to expect that each person that came in to visit would have a toy for him!! He spent most of this time in the bed playing or watching movies. But we spent lots of time in the floor of our teeny tiny PICU room putting together puzzles. I bet we did 30 puzzles in those days in the hospital. It almost became a test to see how many puzzles we could find that he could put together. You know, those little puzzles that are around $3 and have 25 pieces. We had them all!! Seriously!!!
Surgery went fine. They completely removed the tumor. We had some issues to deal with - nerve damage - but hey - he was okay! The cause of all those problems was gone. This was just the beginning of his journey though. I think I was pretty naive to think that the surgery was the hard part. There was so much more that was difficult. But that's another story for another day!
Anyway - five years cancer free is amazing. We are so thankful for that. God truly carried us all through this journey. There's no doubt in my mind about that.
Monday, April 28, 2008
30 things about cancer
I started this post last week and have just now finished it. I know I'm a bit behind - what else is new. I now owe you 60 things I guess. I will try to post my 30 photos this evening and maybe another list today!!
This may be a mixed list - some good, some bad - yes there are some good things about going through something like this. Good lessons learned!
1. When your child is sick and you know he's sick and the doctor blows you off - stick with it - Mother's intuition is real.
2. Sometimes the odds are against you. (Cole's tumor is usually cancerous but some aren't so we were hoping his wouldn't be, even though the odds were so small)
3. Sometimes the odds are with you. (We were told if you were going to have a brain tumor, this is the one you want. We thought the doctor was crazy but then we met kids that had worse brain tumors - some are still here, some aren't. We really have been lucky)
4. When the doctor that knows everything about this type of cancer tells you something, you believe it - no matter how much you want to deny that it could happen to your child. (We still hold on to that denial just a bit, hoping Cole will be the child that beats the odds)
5. Bribery is a good thing when you have to change the dressing on your child's central line.
6. It's hard to say no to anything Cole could want when you experience something this traumatic and it was OK to spoil him!!
7. The families you meet on a cancer journey will always be important to you, even if you don't keep in touch that well - they were in the trenches with you and you love them for being supportive, even when their day was just as bad, or worse, than yours.
8. Your kid won't necessarily remember the bad stuff - the sticks, the physical therapy he cried over, but he'll remember the fun times - the games we played or pictures we drew everytime we were inpatient. Shouldn't we all live that way - remembering just the good times?
9. Your real family won't always understand what you're going through. Just deal with it. They aren't living it like you are - so learn to adjust to what they say or how they feel, don't wear your heart on your sleeve (i learned this the hard way). This is when you lean on your new cancer friends - they really get it.
10. Spread your story - talk about it. It helps in so many ways. It's still emotional, but it's healing for me to talk about it.
11. Remember that when you talk about it - others don't have the background knowledge you now have - others don't think any of it is funny. Be sensitive. I sometimes feel like we make light of situations but only because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. We laughed a lot - and made lots of jokes along the way. Some will still have me holding my side laughing with tears in my eyes. Not everyone laughs when we say Cole is on HGH so he can play Major League Baseball when he grows up.
12. Other families need your information. I know I would like to know more about what other families are going through. The information is out there, you just have to find it - and I'm looking and have received great advice, and can maybe give some too!
13. Sometimes when you share your story you also have to remember you aren't as sensitive to it and you may make people cry (instead of laugh at the jokes) - remember that and try to be sensitive - we aren't so good at this part I realized recently.
14. People you don't even know will pray for you and your family when you are going through this - it's such a blessing so you have to pay it forward and pray for others that you don't really know either. We know those prayers carried us through this journey.
15. People will do things for you that will blow you away. Whether it's giving you money, gifts for Cole, whatever - you have to be thankful for it, don't try to make them not do it - it's there way of paying it forward maybe - it's a blessing they have to pass forward. Take it and do the same when you can.
16. I have learned that not every kid with medulloblastoma is like Cole. Just because someone else has a reoccurence, it doesn't mean Cole will. Although, we know it can happen - I have to remember not to stress myself out about it.
17. Everything that St. Jude says is like 100% true in my opinion. I don't think Dr. Gajjar could ever be wrong. If he told me Cole had gained twenty pounds even though my scale only showed four pounds - I'd believe that man. That's how wonderful St. Jude is!!!
18. Cole will stuggle for a long time, or forever, because he's had cancer.
19. Even if he struggles, there are definitely places where he'll exceed expectations. We have to figure those places out and encourage him. Even if it means buying a drum set and letting him bang away!!
20. He's not going to be a doctor.
21. He's not going to be a jock.
22. He'll be perfect to me though - no matter what he is when he grows up.
23. There was a reason why I wanted to be a teacher - I always thought it was to help other kids, maybe change one kid and reach them the way one of my teachers reached me. But, now I think it was really all about Cole.
24. There was a reason why Cole had cancer - God knows and I'm ok with NOT knowing.
25. It hurts when you see a child fight cancer.
26. When kids that are really young have cancer, they have no idea how hard their life may be later, and have no clue that they should be angry and mad - they usually will give you a smile and act like it's all ok. I think we adults could learn a lesson or two from them.
27. One day Cole may be embarrassed that his hair is so thin and he has an old man bald spot and a huge scar. I hope we'll know how to deal with that and he won't feel insecure about it. I hope he'll have a sense of humor about it maybe -whatever will help him cope.
28. One day I may say something to someone in Walmart that isn't nice. Cole rides in the buggy most of the time - it's easier for me. So his back is to people that are coming our way. This means people see the thing hair and bald spot. As they pass us, they will turn and look at Cole. They just have to see him to see why his hair looks like it does. This makes me angry. Especially when they then look at me and give me a sweet smile that means "oh bless his heart". It drives me crazy. Don't look at him that way and don't look at me that way. Just keep rolling by with your squeaky buggy and think to yourself - I'm not sure what happened to that sweet boy - but God please continue to bless him for the rest of his life. That would be a nice thing to do. I know it's hard not to look or stare - but geesh - grow up already. It's usually adults that do this - not little kids wondering what's wrong.
29. Educate children about cancer. I wish I'd been able to talk to Cole's class about cancer and about how sick he was and how great he's doing now. I think it would give them a little more understanding when Cole doesn't 'get' something, or when he's slower on the playground, etc. His classmates are great, but I wish I'd been able to talk to them about Cole a little. A few have asked questions and I've answered, but only a few. My fourth graders from last year asked questions so I had a little chat with them and told them all about it. Even brought pictures to show them how he looked then. I think it made them think a little and appreciate that they were healthy maybe. Or just be tolerant of people that are a little different. They were all so sweet to Cole.
30. Cancer sucks - there's no other way to put it. It changed our lives forever and nothing will ever be the same. The old Cole is gone and replaced by a different Cole - he's just as wonderful, but there are times when we miss things he could do before, or miss the idea of things he could have done without having cancer. We really wanted an Alabama football player. But, hey - if he follows his dreams of playing the drums, maybe he'll be in the band at Alabama. That's not so bad, is it? I think not!!
Lisa
This may be a mixed list - some good, some bad - yes there are some good things about going through something like this. Good lessons learned!
1. When your child is sick and you know he's sick and the doctor blows you off - stick with it - Mother's intuition is real.
2. Sometimes the odds are against you. (Cole's tumor is usually cancerous but some aren't so we were hoping his wouldn't be, even though the odds were so small)
3. Sometimes the odds are with you. (We were told if you were going to have a brain tumor, this is the one you want. We thought the doctor was crazy but then we met kids that had worse brain tumors - some are still here, some aren't. We really have been lucky)
4. When the doctor that knows everything about this type of cancer tells you something, you believe it - no matter how much you want to deny that it could happen to your child. (We still hold on to that denial just a bit, hoping Cole will be the child that beats the odds)
5. Bribery is a good thing when you have to change the dressing on your child's central line.
6. It's hard to say no to anything Cole could want when you experience something this traumatic and it was OK to spoil him!!
7. The families you meet on a cancer journey will always be important to you, even if you don't keep in touch that well - they were in the trenches with you and you love them for being supportive, even when their day was just as bad, or worse, than yours.
8. Your kid won't necessarily remember the bad stuff - the sticks, the physical therapy he cried over, but he'll remember the fun times - the games we played or pictures we drew everytime we were inpatient. Shouldn't we all live that way - remembering just the good times?
9. Your real family won't always understand what you're going through. Just deal with it. They aren't living it like you are - so learn to adjust to what they say or how they feel, don't wear your heart on your sleeve (i learned this the hard way). This is when you lean on your new cancer friends - they really get it.
10. Spread your story - talk about it. It helps in so many ways. It's still emotional, but it's healing for me to talk about it.
11. Remember that when you talk about it - others don't have the background knowledge you now have - others don't think any of it is funny. Be sensitive. I sometimes feel like we make light of situations but only because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. We laughed a lot - and made lots of jokes along the way. Some will still have me holding my side laughing with tears in my eyes. Not everyone laughs when we say Cole is on HGH so he can play Major League Baseball when he grows up.
12. Other families need your information. I know I would like to know more about what other families are going through. The information is out there, you just have to find it - and I'm looking and have received great advice, and can maybe give some too!
13. Sometimes when you share your story you also have to remember you aren't as sensitive to it and you may make people cry (instead of laugh at the jokes) - remember that and try to be sensitive - we aren't so good at this part I realized recently.
14. People you don't even know will pray for you and your family when you are going through this - it's such a blessing so you have to pay it forward and pray for others that you don't really know either. We know those prayers carried us through this journey.
15. People will do things for you that will blow you away. Whether it's giving you money, gifts for Cole, whatever - you have to be thankful for it, don't try to make them not do it - it's there way of paying it forward maybe - it's a blessing they have to pass forward. Take it and do the same when you can.
16. I have learned that not every kid with medulloblastoma is like Cole. Just because someone else has a reoccurence, it doesn't mean Cole will. Although, we know it can happen - I have to remember not to stress myself out about it.
17. Everything that St. Jude says is like 100% true in my opinion. I don't think Dr. Gajjar could ever be wrong. If he told me Cole had gained twenty pounds even though my scale only showed four pounds - I'd believe that man. That's how wonderful St. Jude is!!!
18. Cole will stuggle for a long time, or forever, because he's had cancer.
19. Even if he struggles, there are definitely places where he'll exceed expectations. We have to figure those places out and encourage him. Even if it means buying a drum set and letting him bang away!!
20. He's not going to be a doctor.
21. He's not going to be a jock.
22. He'll be perfect to me though - no matter what he is when he grows up.
23. There was a reason why I wanted to be a teacher - I always thought it was to help other kids, maybe change one kid and reach them the way one of my teachers reached me. But, now I think it was really all about Cole.
24. There was a reason why Cole had cancer - God knows and I'm ok with NOT knowing.
25. It hurts when you see a child fight cancer.
26. When kids that are really young have cancer, they have no idea how hard their life may be later, and have no clue that they should be angry and mad - they usually will give you a smile and act like it's all ok. I think we adults could learn a lesson or two from them.
27. One day Cole may be embarrassed that his hair is so thin and he has an old man bald spot and a huge scar. I hope we'll know how to deal with that and he won't feel insecure about it. I hope he'll have a sense of humor about it maybe -whatever will help him cope.
28. One day I may say something to someone in Walmart that isn't nice. Cole rides in the buggy most of the time - it's easier for me. So his back is to people that are coming our way. This means people see the thing hair and bald spot. As they pass us, they will turn and look at Cole. They just have to see him to see why his hair looks like it does. This makes me angry. Especially when they then look at me and give me a sweet smile that means "oh bless his heart". It drives me crazy. Don't look at him that way and don't look at me that way. Just keep rolling by with your squeaky buggy and think to yourself - I'm not sure what happened to that sweet boy - but God please continue to bless him for the rest of his life. That would be a nice thing to do. I know it's hard not to look or stare - but geesh - grow up already. It's usually adults that do this - not little kids wondering what's wrong.
29. Educate children about cancer. I wish I'd been able to talk to Cole's class about cancer and about how sick he was and how great he's doing now. I think it would give them a little more understanding when Cole doesn't 'get' something, or when he's slower on the playground, etc. His classmates are great, but I wish I'd been able to talk to them about Cole a little. A few have asked questions and I've answered, but only a few. My fourth graders from last year asked questions so I had a little chat with them and told them all about it. Even brought pictures to show them how he looked then. I think it made them think a little and appreciate that they were healthy maybe. Or just be tolerant of people that are a little different. They were all so sweet to Cole.
30. Cancer sucks - there's no other way to put it. It changed our lives forever and nothing will ever be the same. The old Cole is gone and replaced by a different Cole - he's just as wonderful, but there are times when we miss things he could do before, or miss the idea of things he could have done without having cancer. We really wanted an Alabama football player. But, hey - if he follows his dreams of playing the drums, maybe he'll be in the band at Alabama. That's not so bad, is it? I think not!!
Lisa
Sunday, April 27, 2008
another random post
I had a visitor from cropaddict.com's message board and she didn't know Cole's story and I haven't shared it in great detail here - but maybe I should. I'm sure someone may stumble upon this and not know about Cole. So thanks Jenn for visiting - and here's the story........ (in a condensed version, of course)
In August of 2004, Cole was three and everything seemed to be just fine - he was interested in everything and really pretty smart. He was in daycare while I was in school full time. He started just randomly throwing up - no other symptoms, nothing else going on - and it was really random, sometimes in the morning, sometimes afternoon and then at bedtime. He would feel fine afterwards too - he'd want to eat, and that's strange! So this continued for several months while we went to the pediatrician and tried to figure it out. We went through acid reflux medicine and that made no difference (the doctor kept saying we needed to give it more time, but since I have acid reflux, I know it doesn't take more that a few weeks for the meds to really work) then he started having headaches while throwing up. This turned into 'abdominal migraines' or so the pediatrician said!! None of those meds made any difference either.
January 15th, we were at a birthday party for my nephew and first we thought Cole was being really clumsy - just coming so close to bumping into things!! And his left eye didn't look right, just a little crossed. The next day, it was worse. We called the dr. again - for the millioneth time!! He blew us off - again. Jason had taken Cole to the dr this time and just took him to work with him afterwards and the guys he worked with all said they could tell that Cole's eye was crossing. When he got tired, it got worse. Jason started calling around and found an eye doctor that had a cancellation the next day and could see Cole. While Cole was there he threw up again. The doctor wanted to wait two weeks to see what changes. So we did that, we returned in two weeks and again, Cole was throwing up andhad a headache while we were there. The doctor said we needed an MRI right away. After a hassel with the scheduling of the MRI, we ended up with the MRI two days later.
The MRI was miserable - the stay they gave Cole to put him to sleep just wasn't working - it took way longer than expected to get him to sleep. The MRI doctor came out to explain to us that we needed to sign consent for contrast, just in case but that they rarely had to do it. They only did it if they needed a better picture - it probably wouldn't happen. Well, it happened. We were sitting in the room with the MRI machine while the MRI was going on - and the technician came in and had this look on his face - we later joked with him that he had better work on his poker face - because we KNEW. We left after the MRI and Cole was so out of it. He wanted to eat, but was still so drowsy and needed to be on liquids for a while first. He wanted to go to the bookstore and play. He just thought everything was normal, even though he could barely stand up!! We were turning into our neighborhood and had a phone call from the pediatrician. This man didnt' even ask if we were home yet, or sitting down, or any of those things. He just said you have an appointment with a neurosurgeon at 2 and we suspect a brain tumor. Nothing to ease up into it - just said it. Jason almost took out a mailbox (or two). So there we had it - an answer - a brain tumor.
The next few hours were a blur as we waited for our appointment. We did go to the bookstore, and of course, called everyone. Jason's mom, dad and grandma were with us the whole morning, so that was a huge help. We sat at the bookstore around the Thomas table while Cole played and we just say - there was nothing to say, nothing to do - we just sat. We went on to the doctor's office and had to wait a while - quite a while. Since we were squeezed in and the doctor had been in surgery, we had to wait for over an hour. As soon as we met him, we just felt this huge relief - he was very to the point with us but kind at the same time. We found out we'd go in the next day for surgery and they would drain the excess fluid due to the tumor. The tumor would be removed three days later.
Everything went well in the hospital - the surgery was successful and they were able to complete remove the tumor. Cole had some nerve damage though and his left eye was a little worse - crossed much more than before the surgery. He also could barely use his left side. We knew that there would be lots of therapy in the future. The tumor was sent off to several labs to find out if it was cancerous or not. We were hoping it wasn't of course but the odds were against that. Cole developed an infection during this time and we ended up back in ICU and in the hospital for two weeks. During that time we waited to here the lab results - it took forever. Finally the surgeon came to us, not the oncologist - to tell us it was cancer. We would have to go through radiation and chemotherapy. No one from the hospital could tell us what the treatment would consist of, or when it would start - actually no one told us anything.
We made one phone call to St. Jude and pretty much had all our questions answered. We sat down with our family to discuss our options - go to St. Jude for treatment and be gone for 9 months, or stay here and wait to figure out what they can do for us. It seemed pretty simple - go to St. Jude. So we started making preparations for that. Cole would have to be transferred by ambulance since he still had IV antibiotics to receive. I followed in the van and Jason rode with Cole. We switched about half way and I finished the ride in the ambulance with Cole.
We got to St Jude and were really blown away. I remember thinking this hospital was huge and I would never remember how to find anything. It was so much more lively and colorful and kidfriendly than the hospital at home. We were amazed - really amazed. Cole had really gotten to the point that he was just scared to death of every nurse and doctor that came in the room - they came in so much and it seemed to always be another stick, more medicine - something that hurt him. St. Jude was totally different - his Nurse Practioner was fabulous - Miss Valerie was the best thing that happened to Cole. He let her completely examine him and he didn't fuss once - he didn't freak out or anything. She was so gentle with him and so sweet - and it never changed, all these times we've seen her, she's just as kind and sweet. Sadly, now she's not there but that's ok - we'll make it without her!!
Anyway - Cole would get a central line placed and would start radiation the next week. He went through 13 rounds of complete spine and head radiation then 18 rounds of pinpointed radiation to the tumor bed. This is the main reason we went with St. Jude - they could do something the other hospitals could not. They could radiate a much smaller spot and therefore lessen the after effects of radiation.
We had a four week break were we returned to Mobile. Then we headed back to Memphis for four rounds of high dose chemo followed by stem cell rescue which is similar to a bone marrow transplant. Cole went through each round fairly well with little complications. He learned to walk again during radiation and had some delays again during chemo. One of the chemo drugs caused joint pain so walking was not something he was willing to try. He spent lots of time crawling, scooting and in the stroller!!
He finished his last chemo treatment in September and we returned home in October. We headed back to Memphis to have his line removed in November and then we would start check ups every three months. We did that for close to two years and now we just go back every 6 months.
Cole went through lots of therapy at home - physical and occupational - and really got stronger and stronger. He started school on time and did realy well adjusting to that big change. He didn't have a lot of interactions with other kids while he was sick. He had some buddies at the hospital but we still didn't spend tons of time together playing - at least not during chemo. We pretty much kept to ourselves during that time. So he did pretty well adjusting. He made really good grades too. We started thyroid medicine during that first year of school. His thyroid is under active so he takes a little pill every day to help that out. That was not a big deal to him - he really just takes whatever we day and deals with it - he's an amazing kid.
We moved at the end of kindergarten back to Birmingham and got Cole registered at his new school. He also started human Growth Hormones and finally started to grow!! he's grown over four inches since then. We recently decided to hold Cole back and let him repeat first grade. He's made such progress but there are basics he's struggling with and that foundation is so important - we want to make sure he has everything he needs to move on and be successful in school.
So that's where we are now - three years later he's still cancer free. He can run and jump and play - although not as great as some kids his age, but great for him. He can read and write (although sometimes it's hard, but he doesn't give up). He looks forward to each check up at St. Jude - it's like a special treat to go there now - he loves it. He loves seeing Dr. Gajjar and visiting all the girlfriends he made (his therapist and nurses).
For me, it's bittersweet to go back. Each time, I remember the hard times and how so many of our young cancer friends are no longer here. Each time, I see more and more children who are fighting this fight against cancer. I love seeing the staff there and they say hello to me, ask how I've been and then realize this big kid is Cole - they are always so surprised. He's just so big now and strong - compared to the little guy they knew so well. The hospital has grown a lot since we started out there too - and that's amazing to see. It's sad that it's necessary but it's amazing to see that the generosity of others is helping to cure these children.
If you are ever looking for a worthwhile charity - this is the one. St. Jude is amazing. We never paid a dime for treatment - if our insurance didn't cover it - we didn't have to worry. We were given a place to stay that was furnished with all we could need. We were given groceries and entertainment provided by the city of Memphis. We were given HOPE - we were given LOVE. The hospital makes sure that you don't have any worries except taking care of your child. They help in so many ways. We will never be able to give back in the degree that they gave to us, but we will try.
You can give back too - you can donate money, or shop in their online gift shop - every dime helps. Anything you could do could cure a child - can you believe that? It could!!! Really. So if you want to look into ways to help - go to http://www.stjude.org/ and look for a way that suits you.
I'm not posting this so you'll donate money though - I just wanted to share our story. Cole is a survivor. He fought hard and there were many scary times for us. He doesn't remember the bad stuff though - he remembers his head being shaved, have a bandage that looked like a tail around his head. He remembers a few of his cancer friends and that's about it. One day we'll tell him the whole story - we give him bits and pieces now though. I hope he'll be as proud of himself as we are of him. I hope he'll do whatever he can to help cancer kids in the future. I hope he'll stay cancer free - forever!!!
Ok - it's not a list of thirty things, but jeez - it's close to the end of the month and I've just about run out of things to list. I know I owe you 60 things now - so maybe I'll get caught up later today. I've been taking pictures around the house so maybe we'll have a list of 30 pictures from my home!!
later, lisa
oh - i didn't proofread or spell check - sorry, it's something i'm so not good at!!
In August of 2004, Cole was three and everything seemed to be just fine - he was interested in everything and really pretty smart. He was in daycare while I was in school full time. He started just randomly throwing up - no other symptoms, nothing else going on - and it was really random, sometimes in the morning, sometimes afternoon and then at bedtime. He would feel fine afterwards too - he'd want to eat, and that's strange! So this continued for several months while we went to the pediatrician and tried to figure it out. We went through acid reflux medicine and that made no difference (the doctor kept saying we needed to give it more time, but since I have acid reflux, I know it doesn't take more that a few weeks for the meds to really work) then he started having headaches while throwing up. This turned into 'abdominal migraines' or so the pediatrician said!! None of those meds made any difference either.
January 15th, we were at a birthday party for my nephew and first we thought Cole was being really clumsy - just coming so close to bumping into things!! And his left eye didn't look right, just a little crossed. The next day, it was worse. We called the dr. again - for the millioneth time!! He blew us off - again. Jason had taken Cole to the dr this time and just took him to work with him afterwards and the guys he worked with all said they could tell that Cole's eye was crossing. When he got tired, it got worse. Jason started calling around and found an eye doctor that had a cancellation the next day and could see Cole. While Cole was there he threw up again. The doctor wanted to wait two weeks to see what changes. So we did that, we returned in two weeks and again, Cole was throwing up andhad a headache while we were there. The doctor said we needed an MRI right away. After a hassel with the scheduling of the MRI, we ended up with the MRI two days later.
The MRI was miserable - the stay they gave Cole to put him to sleep just wasn't working - it took way longer than expected to get him to sleep. The MRI doctor came out to explain to us that we needed to sign consent for contrast, just in case but that they rarely had to do it. They only did it if they needed a better picture - it probably wouldn't happen. Well, it happened. We were sitting in the room with the MRI machine while the MRI was going on - and the technician came in and had this look on his face - we later joked with him that he had better work on his poker face - because we KNEW. We left after the MRI and Cole was so out of it. He wanted to eat, but was still so drowsy and needed to be on liquids for a while first. He wanted to go to the bookstore and play. He just thought everything was normal, even though he could barely stand up!! We were turning into our neighborhood and had a phone call from the pediatrician. This man didnt' even ask if we were home yet, or sitting down, or any of those things. He just said you have an appointment with a neurosurgeon at 2 and we suspect a brain tumor. Nothing to ease up into it - just said it. Jason almost took out a mailbox (or two). So there we had it - an answer - a brain tumor.
The next few hours were a blur as we waited for our appointment. We did go to the bookstore, and of course, called everyone. Jason's mom, dad and grandma were with us the whole morning, so that was a huge help. We sat at the bookstore around the Thomas table while Cole played and we just say - there was nothing to say, nothing to do - we just sat. We went on to the doctor's office and had to wait a while - quite a while. Since we were squeezed in and the doctor had been in surgery, we had to wait for over an hour. As soon as we met him, we just felt this huge relief - he was very to the point with us but kind at the same time. We found out we'd go in the next day for surgery and they would drain the excess fluid due to the tumor. The tumor would be removed three days later.
Everything went well in the hospital - the surgery was successful and they were able to complete remove the tumor. Cole had some nerve damage though and his left eye was a little worse - crossed much more than before the surgery. He also could barely use his left side. We knew that there would be lots of therapy in the future. The tumor was sent off to several labs to find out if it was cancerous or not. We were hoping it wasn't of course but the odds were against that. Cole developed an infection during this time and we ended up back in ICU and in the hospital for two weeks. During that time we waited to here the lab results - it took forever. Finally the surgeon came to us, not the oncologist - to tell us it was cancer. We would have to go through radiation and chemotherapy. No one from the hospital could tell us what the treatment would consist of, or when it would start - actually no one told us anything.
We made one phone call to St. Jude and pretty much had all our questions answered. We sat down with our family to discuss our options - go to St. Jude for treatment and be gone for 9 months, or stay here and wait to figure out what they can do for us. It seemed pretty simple - go to St. Jude. So we started making preparations for that. Cole would have to be transferred by ambulance since he still had IV antibiotics to receive. I followed in the van and Jason rode with Cole. We switched about half way and I finished the ride in the ambulance with Cole.
We got to St Jude and were really blown away. I remember thinking this hospital was huge and I would never remember how to find anything. It was so much more lively and colorful and kidfriendly than the hospital at home. We were amazed - really amazed. Cole had really gotten to the point that he was just scared to death of every nurse and doctor that came in the room - they came in so much and it seemed to always be another stick, more medicine - something that hurt him. St. Jude was totally different - his Nurse Practioner was fabulous - Miss Valerie was the best thing that happened to Cole. He let her completely examine him and he didn't fuss once - he didn't freak out or anything. She was so gentle with him and so sweet - and it never changed, all these times we've seen her, she's just as kind and sweet. Sadly, now she's not there but that's ok - we'll make it without her!!
Anyway - Cole would get a central line placed and would start radiation the next week. He went through 13 rounds of complete spine and head radiation then 18 rounds of pinpointed radiation to the tumor bed. This is the main reason we went with St. Jude - they could do something the other hospitals could not. They could radiate a much smaller spot and therefore lessen the after effects of radiation.
We had a four week break were we returned to Mobile. Then we headed back to Memphis for four rounds of high dose chemo followed by stem cell rescue which is similar to a bone marrow transplant. Cole went through each round fairly well with little complications. He learned to walk again during radiation and had some delays again during chemo. One of the chemo drugs caused joint pain so walking was not something he was willing to try. He spent lots of time crawling, scooting and in the stroller!!
He finished his last chemo treatment in September and we returned home in October. We headed back to Memphis to have his line removed in November and then we would start check ups every three months. We did that for close to two years and now we just go back every 6 months.
Cole went through lots of therapy at home - physical and occupational - and really got stronger and stronger. He started school on time and did realy well adjusting to that big change. He didn't have a lot of interactions with other kids while he was sick. He had some buddies at the hospital but we still didn't spend tons of time together playing - at least not during chemo. We pretty much kept to ourselves during that time. So he did pretty well adjusting. He made really good grades too. We started thyroid medicine during that first year of school. His thyroid is under active so he takes a little pill every day to help that out. That was not a big deal to him - he really just takes whatever we day and deals with it - he's an amazing kid.
We moved at the end of kindergarten back to Birmingham and got Cole registered at his new school. He also started human Growth Hormones and finally started to grow!! he's grown over four inches since then. We recently decided to hold Cole back and let him repeat first grade. He's made such progress but there are basics he's struggling with and that foundation is so important - we want to make sure he has everything he needs to move on and be successful in school.
So that's where we are now - three years later he's still cancer free. He can run and jump and play - although not as great as some kids his age, but great for him. He can read and write (although sometimes it's hard, but he doesn't give up). He looks forward to each check up at St. Jude - it's like a special treat to go there now - he loves it. He loves seeing Dr. Gajjar and visiting all the girlfriends he made (his therapist and nurses).
For me, it's bittersweet to go back. Each time, I remember the hard times and how so many of our young cancer friends are no longer here. Each time, I see more and more children who are fighting this fight against cancer. I love seeing the staff there and they say hello to me, ask how I've been and then realize this big kid is Cole - they are always so surprised. He's just so big now and strong - compared to the little guy they knew so well. The hospital has grown a lot since we started out there too - and that's amazing to see. It's sad that it's necessary but it's amazing to see that the generosity of others is helping to cure these children.
If you are ever looking for a worthwhile charity - this is the one. St. Jude is amazing. We never paid a dime for treatment - if our insurance didn't cover it - we didn't have to worry. We were given a place to stay that was furnished with all we could need. We were given groceries and entertainment provided by the city of Memphis. We were given HOPE - we were given LOVE. The hospital makes sure that you don't have any worries except taking care of your child. They help in so many ways. We will never be able to give back in the degree that they gave to us, but we will try.
You can give back too - you can donate money, or shop in their online gift shop - every dime helps. Anything you could do could cure a child - can you believe that? It could!!! Really. So if you want to look into ways to help - go to http://www.stjude.org/ and look for a way that suits you.
I'm not posting this so you'll donate money though - I just wanted to share our story. Cole is a survivor. He fought hard and there were many scary times for us. He doesn't remember the bad stuff though - he remembers his head being shaved, have a bandage that looked like a tail around his head. He remembers a few of his cancer friends and that's about it. One day we'll tell him the whole story - we give him bits and pieces now though. I hope he'll be as proud of himself as we are of him. I hope he'll do whatever he can to help cancer kids in the future. I hope he'll stay cancer free - forever!!!
Ok - it's not a list of thirty things, but jeez - it's close to the end of the month and I've just about run out of things to list. I know I owe you 60 things now - so maybe I'll get caught up later today. I've been taking pictures around the house so maybe we'll have a list of 30 pictures from my home!!
later, lisa
oh - i didn't proofread or spell check - sorry, it's something i'm so not good at!!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Catching Up
Ok Ok - here's 60 things to catch up since I was a serious slacker yesterday!
SO - here's 30 things I did today:
1. Bought Cole sunglasses (because he lost his other pair)
2. Hit the coke machine for bottled water and a Diet Dr Pepper to start the day.
3. Went to Cole's classroom
4. Walked with Cole's class out to the soccer field
5. Watch Cole fearlessly do the inflatable obstacle course
6. Watched Cole try to play soccer
7. Watch Cole give up on soccer and decide to be the soccer news guy. He seriously stood in the middle of the soccer field holding up his pretend microphone and give the play by play info.
8. Took about 75 pictures of the kids doing the obstacle course and play soccer
9. Went into the gym
10. Watched Cole climb into the Moon Walk and actually bounce with it full of kids. (He usually will only do it if he's alone and not getting bounced by others)
11. Watched Cole do inflatable Twister
12. Took about 50 more pictures
13. Watched Cole brave the inflatable wind tunnel (TWICE)
14. Watched Cole hanging out with some boys at school - they were so cool!
15. Followed the class back to the classroom.
16. Ate Lunch
17. Watched "Lucy Must Be Traded" during lunch
18. Played Hand Ping Pong.
19. Went into the cafeteria and watched a cool McWane Center presentation
20. Watched Cole NOT watch the McWane Center presentation
21. Took pictures of the kids doing the Chicken Dance
22. Took Cole back to my classroom because the music in the dance party was too loud.
23. Went back outside after the dance party and watched the kids jump rope
24. Took pictures of Cole breaking in down - I'm not sure of the song, but it's one of those that has a specific dance to go with it and all the kids (and a few teachers) knew the song and dance - you could hear the music outside where we were and Cole was dancing along with them. Not sure where he learned it - but it was so funny!!
25. Took a bunch more pictures
26. Followed the class to their playground and watch them take a karate lesson, which Cole wouldn't do.
27. Left to go get my battery out of the classroom (i had taken about 400 pictures by this time)
28. Drew on the side walk with chalk
29. Tried to talk Cole into having his face painted. He said NO!
30. Dismissal time!!! (the best part of the day besides Cole's dancing)
And now for a not as fun list
30 things that Cole has had to endure because of cancer
1. MRI's
2. xray's
3. multiple IV's
4. blood transfusions
5. platelet transfusions
6. bruising
7. a bald head
8. no eyelashes
9. no eyebrows
10. spewing randomly over everything and anything
11. a central line
12. needle sticks
13. potty mask (that's actually the gas mask that he needs before the MRI's)
14. human growth hormone injections
15. thyroid medicine
16. attention issues
17. repeating first grade
18. thin hair
19. a bald spot (that matches his dad's)
20. a scar on the back of his head that we call railroad tracks
21. a scar on his chest that we call his battle scar
22. another tiny scar of his head that you can barely see now
23. a crooked smile (sometimes)
24. an eye that doesn't really close all the way
25. bandaids - lots and lots of bandaids
26. new friends
27. great doctors
28. fantastic nurses
29. he learned how to just whine a little and get a new toy
30. treasure chests and stickers in Assessment Triage
ok - i'm caught up!! I'll try to have a more interesting list tomorrow. How many days are left in this month, anyway??
lisa
SO - here's 30 things I did today:
1. Bought Cole sunglasses (because he lost his other pair)
2. Hit the coke machine for bottled water and a Diet Dr Pepper to start the day.
3. Went to Cole's classroom
4. Walked with Cole's class out to the soccer field
5. Watch Cole fearlessly do the inflatable obstacle course
6. Watched Cole try to play soccer
7. Watch Cole give up on soccer and decide to be the soccer news guy. He seriously stood in the middle of the soccer field holding up his pretend microphone and give the play by play info.
8. Took about 75 pictures of the kids doing the obstacle course and play soccer
9. Went into the gym
10. Watched Cole climb into the Moon Walk and actually bounce with it full of kids. (He usually will only do it if he's alone and not getting bounced by others)
11. Watched Cole do inflatable Twister
12. Took about 50 more pictures
13. Watched Cole brave the inflatable wind tunnel (TWICE)
14. Watched Cole hanging out with some boys at school - they were so cool!
15. Followed the class back to the classroom.
16. Ate Lunch
17. Watched "Lucy Must Be Traded" during lunch
18. Played Hand Ping Pong.
19. Went into the cafeteria and watched a cool McWane Center presentation
20. Watched Cole NOT watch the McWane Center presentation
21. Took pictures of the kids doing the Chicken Dance
22. Took Cole back to my classroom because the music in the dance party was too loud.
23. Went back outside after the dance party and watched the kids jump rope
24. Took pictures of Cole breaking in down - I'm not sure of the song, but it's one of those that has a specific dance to go with it and all the kids (and a few teachers) knew the song and dance - you could hear the music outside where we were and Cole was dancing along with them. Not sure where he learned it - but it was so funny!!
25. Took a bunch more pictures
26. Followed the class to their playground and watch them take a karate lesson, which Cole wouldn't do.
27. Left to go get my battery out of the classroom (i had taken about 400 pictures by this time)
28. Drew on the side walk with chalk
29. Tried to talk Cole into having his face painted. He said NO!
30. Dismissal time!!! (the best part of the day besides Cole's dancing)
And now for a not as fun list
30 things that Cole has had to endure because of cancer
1. MRI's
2. xray's
3. multiple IV's
4. blood transfusions
5. platelet transfusions
6. bruising
7. a bald head
8. no eyelashes
9. no eyebrows
10. spewing randomly over everything and anything
11. a central line
12. needle sticks
13. potty mask (that's actually the gas mask that he needs before the MRI's)
14. human growth hormone injections
15. thyroid medicine
16. attention issues
17. repeating first grade
18. thin hair
19. a bald spot (that matches his dad's)
20. a scar on the back of his head that we call railroad tracks
21. a scar on his chest that we call his battle scar
22. another tiny scar of his head that you can barely see now
23. a crooked smile (sometimes)
24. an eye that doesn't really close all the way
25. bandaids - lots and lots of bandaids
26. new friends
27. great doctors
28. fantastic nurses
29. he learned how to just whine a little and get a new toy
30. treasure chests and stickers in Assessment Triage
ok - i'm caught up!! I'll try to have a more interesting list tomorrow. How many days are left in this month, anyway??
lisa
Sunday, April 20, 2008
30 things about my parents
1. They are very giving people.
2. They love me.
3. They love Jason.
4. They love Cole.
5. They are good to other people.
6. Mom can make the best chocolate delight pie in the entire world.
7. Dad gives good daddy hugs (still, and i'm 36 hee hee)
8. They each have a great heart and care about things that are important to me.
9. They have continued to make sacrifices in their lives to benefit us.
10. They go out of their way to help us.
11. They are great babysitters (Cole is with them now).
12. They are great dinner companions. (We always look forward to eating with them and not just when they are buying dinner either)
13. They look at my scrapbook pages and compliment them.
14. They survived my teenage years (barely i think).
15. They also have a son (as much as I hate to admit it, it's not all about me lol)
16. They are the glue that holds our extended family together, in my opinion.
17. The best Christmas's are at their house.
18. They are dependable.
19. They are respected by others.
20. Mom knows a lot about a lot of things.
21. Dad knows a lot of people (like cops in Hueytown when I was a bit younger).
22. They don't mind watching Cole so I can go scrapbook out of town!!! YEAH Scrap Etc. Event
23. They want to know a lot about Cole and how he is doing in school, etc - they are genuinely interested in him - it's wonderful!
24. They have been married for over 40 years.
25. They renewed their vowels a long time ago - maybe at 25 years I think in our gym at school/church because our church had burned down and this is where we were meeting at the time (it was painted blue). Mom wore a pink dress.
26. They loved their parents.
27. They love being giving parents and doing for us, even when it's too much!
28. They are interested in our hobbies and careers.
29. They will help us with anything - really, anything - painting, moving for the gajillionth time, anything!
30. We all love them very much!
Lisa
2. They love me.
3. They love Jason.
4. They love Cole.
5. They are good to other people.
6. Mom can make the best chocolate delight pie in the entire world.
7. Dad gives good daddy hugs (still, and i'm 36 hee hee)
8. They each have a great heart and care about things that are important to me.
9. They have continued to make sacrifices in their lives to benefit us.
10. They go out of their way to help us.
11. They are great babysitters (Cole is with them now).
12. They are great dinner companions. (We always look forward to eating with them and not just when they are buying dinner either)
13. They look at my scrapbook pages and compliment them.
14. They survived my teenage years (barely i think).
15. They also have a son (as much as I hate to admit it, it's not all about me lol)
16. They are the glue that holds our extended family together, in my opinion.
17. The best Christmas's are at their house.
18. They are dependable.
19. They are respected by others.
20. Mom knows a lot about a lot of things.
21. Dad knows a lot of people (like cops in Hueytown when I was a bit younger).
22. They don't mind watching Cole so I can go scrapbook out of town!!! YEAH Scrap Etc. Event
23. They want to know a lot about Cole and how he is doing in school, etc - they are genuinely interested in him - it's wonderful!
24. They have been married for over 40 years.
25. They renewed their vowels a long time ago - maybe at 25 years I think in our gym at school/church because our church had burned down and this is where we were meeting at the time (it was painted blue). Mom wore a pink dress.
26. They loved their parents.
27. They love being giving parents and doing for us, even when it's too much!
28. They are interested in our hobbies and careers.
29. They will help us with anything - really, anything - painting, moving for the gajillionth time, anything!
30. We all love them very much!
Lisa
Friday, February 29, 2008
Busy Busy Bees
That's what we've been - busy!! Last week we were just busy getting ready for this week and this week we were out of town for four days. We spent the beginning of the week in Memphis. Cole had a check up at St. Jude and everything went well. His MRI was fine - all clear. He's growing too, which is a blessing!! A few other things were discussed, but nothing life changing at this moment. Things we need to think about for the future. We're looking at some programs for the summer, maybe some art classes or something - but that's expensive, so we're thinking about it. Cole does need to work on things at home this summer - getting ready for second grade. I bought a book the other night that's full of work to get kids ready for second grade. So that's a good start. I have some other things we can work on. We also went to the Parent Teacher Store today and looked around. Cole is going to pick an animal and we're going to learn all about it this summer!! We saw cute little tubes of animals in the store and this prompted the discussion of how we could learn about animals. So far, his pick is a jaguar but I was secretly hoping for penguins. I like penguins. Anyway, I'll have my work cut out for me!!
Speaking of work, I'll be working a little for the next two months. I'm filling in for a maternity leave at Cole's school. So I'll be working for the next two months - YEAH!! I'm so excited - it'll be great experience and exposure. I spent a little time there today getting to know the teacher's routine and such. I think it's going to be a great thing. And getting paid regularly will be wonderful!!!
We have our big vacation planned - we're going to DisneyWorld May 31st and we're already counting down the days - 91 days now. Cole is so excited. He's ready to go now and wants everyone we know to go with us. I would love for him to be able to bring everyone he wants with us - he's have a blast. I'm hoping this trip will be even more fun for him than the last - hopefully he'll want to ride more older rides and not just the kiddie stuff. We keep checking out the website and looking at different shows and rides - trying to get him interested in more things. I can't wait - I'm just like kid at Disney. I want to see it all, take it all in! Did I mention I can't wait!!!
I've got a few scrapping plans this weekend - at least, I want to. I want to make a few cards for Lois - that's what my last blog post was about. I have a few layout ideas in my head I'd like to get on paper too. And I have tons of other things I need to be doing - first, cleaning the apartment - it's a wreck from dumping all the stuff in the dining room from Memphis. And we are moving. Yep - Moving!! I have a friend I've known for 15 years I guess. She's living in London right now and needs someone trustworthy to rent her house - and we aren't totally happy in our apartment. It stinks - literally - so it's working out for us and my friend - YEAH! So in the next week the other tenents will be moving out and we'll get keys in a week or so and then we'll start moving in. We're going to paint a little - Cole wants a red bedroom and since he's a little aprehensive about moving again - we'll do whatever it takes to make it an easy transition. We did the same thing when we moved in here - he got a complete Lightning McQueen bedroom and bathroom out of that deal!! So he'll probably get a red bedroom this time. The better news is I'll get a scraproom!! I've already been looking at paint colors - trying to decide what color I want to go with. I instantly thought pink - I mean I'm so outnumbered with boy stuff here - Pink is wonderful. But, I'm not sure that I really NEED a pink room. I mean my scrap stuff is so random - different color containers, totes, etc. So I'm thinking a yummy brown maybe. I would like some extra details though - I was thinking about some design around the top of the walls - maybe a scallop - the Scrap Etc. store had that at their location in Trussville and it was so pretty! So maybe a lighter brown with a darker brown scallop! We'll see!
Well, We're off to dinner with my parents. So, gotta go -
lisa
Speaking of work, I'll be working a little for the next two months. I'm filling in for a maternity leave at Cole's school. So I'll be working for the next two months - YEAH!! I'm so excited - it'll be great experience and exposure. I spent a little time there today getting to know the teacher's routine and such. I think it's going to be a great thing. And getting paid regularly will be wonderful!!!
We have our big vacation planned - we're going to DisneyWorld May 31st and we're already counting down the days - 91 days now. Cole is so excited. He's ready to go now and wants everyone we know to go with us. I would love for him to be able to bring everyone he wants with us - he's have a blast. I'm hoping this trip will be even more fun for him than the last - hopefully he'll want to ride more older rides and not just the kiddie stuff. We keep checking out the website and looking at different shows and rides - trying to get him interested in more things. I can't wait - I'm just like kid at Disney. I want to see it all, take it all in! Did I mention I can't wait!!!
I've got a few scrapping plans this weekend - at least, I want to. I want to make a few cards for Lois - that's what my last blog post was about. I have a few layout ideas in my head I'd like to get on paper too. And I have tons of other things I need to be doing - first, cleaning the apartment - it's a wreck from dumping all the stuff in the dining room from Memphis. And we are moving. Yep - Moving!! I have a friend I've known for 15 years I guess. She's living in London right now and needs someone trustworthy to rent her house - and we aren't totally happy in our apartment. It stinks - literally - so it's working out for us and my friend - YEAH! So in the next week the other tenents will be moving out and we'll get keys in a week or so and then we'll start moving in. We're going to paint a little - Cole wants a red bedroom and since he's a little aprehensive about moving again - we'll do whatever it takes to make it an easy transition. We did the same thing when we moved in here - he got a complete Lightning McQueen bedroom and bathroom out of that deal!! So he'll probably get a red bedroom this time. The better news is I'll get a scraproom!! I've already been looking at paint colors - trying to decide what color I want to go with. I instantly thought pink - I mean I'm so outnumbered with boy stuff here - Pink is wonderful. But, I'm not sure that I really NEED a pink room. I mean my scrap stuff is so random - different color containers, totes, etc. So I'm thinking a yummy brown maybe. I would like some extra details though - I was thinking about some design around the top of the walls - maybe a scallop - the Scrap Etc. store had that at their location in Trussville and it was so pretty! So maybe a lighter brown with a darker brown scallop! We'll see!
Well, We're off to dinner with my parents. So, gotta go -
lisa
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Doing something nice feels great, doesn't it?
So I have a ton of blogs listed on my Bloglines page and check it often for updates. I'm addicted to reading other people's blogs. So I was reading Wilna's (she's going to be teaching a class at the Scrap Etc. Event in April). She had this request posted and wanted people to make cards for a friend of hers that has cancer. Well, that's something that really speaks out to me, for obvious reasons. So I'll be making a card, posting like Wilna suggests and asking anyone who may read this to do the same. So you can click on this picture at the bottom of the page and it will take you to Wilna's blog and the post all about this. Please consider it. I'm no card maker, but I can try. I know when Cole was sick he got lots of cards in the mail and it was always something the really cheered him up. He LOVED getting mail!! So - check it out and see what you think - see if you can find it in your heart to make something sweet for her!!
Lisa
Lisa
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Happy February!
I can't believe January just flew by like it did. We had a good start to the month on Friday. I subbed and had a great day, we also went out to dinner and bowling to celebrate my cousin's birthday and that was a lot of fun. I'm still better at Wii bowling than the real thing, but it was fun. We slept late Saturday too, which we rarely get to do when Cole is home. But since he was at Grammy and Granddaddy's - sleeping late was nice. I got up around 9 and went to fix my morning cup of Diet Dr Pepper and turned the laptop on. This is my routine every morning - either the laptop or the desktop. I check my email and I check on one of our sweet little friends we met at St. Jude. I've been following Maddie since we met her - probably even before since we had friends that knew her. The cancer community is like that - sometimes you know all about someone before you actually meet them. You hear their name called over the intercom at St. Jude - paging them to their appointments. Well Maddie was this sweet cutie pie - always the epitome of girly girl. Always in pink or purple, usually some hearts somewhere and a little sparkle too! She was always smiling - always!! Such a sweet personality. It seems like so many of the kids we've met just sparkle in some way - they stand out to you I guess because they are battling something bigger than them with a smile most of the time. They tend to perk up more quickly than any sick adult I've ever known. They forgive their parents quickly for having to hold them down for an ouchie, or something like that. Maddie was really a beautiful little girl. I could also see where a lot of her good spirit came from - her Mom. Brandi was so sweet - also usually with a smile on her face. Probably not because things didn't stink though - I mean, come on, she's in a hospital with her daughter who is fighting cancer. She still had a smile for other parents. A hug to share - so caring and sweet. I never saw her in the halls of St. Jude without a smile for someone. So it was easy to see how Maddie would bloom into the very same type of person. We chatted whenever we saw each other but the kids didn't know each other. Cole kept to himself a good bit when we were there - tending to just play with us or boys - not quite up to playing with girls then I guess. Anyway, I felt very lucky to have met these two special girls!!
Maddie's family was told in early January that her cancer was back and it was just as bad as it was several years ago when she began this fight. The decided to end her treatment and take her home. So home they went, hospice was now taking care of everything. I cannot begin to imagine what they went through to make those decision. I cannot begin to understand or comprehend. What I do know is that their faith in God was so strong, they knew that by believing in Him, praying to Him, asking Him for comfort in their time of need - that will get them through those weeks at home waiting to see what would happen. I prayed each night before bed for Maddie and that her and her mom especially would have time together to make some very special memories that Brandi would hold close to her heart forever. I prayed that she would have a good nights sleep, and a wonderful day with her family, I prayed for a miracle.
On Saturday morning at 3:19am Maddie got her miracle. Not the one I had prayed for exactly but a miracle nontheless. Maddie left her family, holding her mom and dad's hand early Saturday morning. I can't imagine their heartbreak. It took all morning yesterday for me to even get the lump out of my throat. I couldn't even tell Jason because I was so close to tears everytime I thought about telling him - another sweet baby we know is gone.
So the second day of the month was just sad. I hugged Cole a few extra times and was so thankful that he was making a mess in the living room!! I know without a doubt that Maddie's parents would much rather be picking up her toys every day than picking up the pieces of their broken heart and trying to live without her. I wish they could have the joys I have with Cole. We were just so lucky to have the kind of cancer Cole had. I never thought, back then, three years ago, that I would be glad that we had a 'good' cancer. But we did. We were so lucky. We are still lucky. Lucky that we had cupcakes Thursday to celebrate the three year cancer free anniversary. Cole doesn't understand it at all. He never heard the word cancer. I try to tell him things now but he just doesn't get it. And you know, it's ok. He'll get it later and for now, I'm just thankful that he'll be here for me to share the story with.
We head back to Memphis at the end of this month for a big check up. Since it's the anniversary of Cole beginning treatment he'll have all the tests he's had before again. Xray's, psych testing, lots of stuff!! I'm nervous already - just a bit. I always am until we get the word from Dr. Gajjar that everything is fine. Clear scans. He always says it like he knew they would be fine, but no one knows - well God knows of course. Sometimes I just wish He'd clue me in a bit, so I wouldn't stress so much. Jason has to work and has school too, so he isn't making the trip. That stinks. I hate going without him. My mom is going with us though so that will help a ton. I'll be glad for the company - there's no way I could go through the whole thing by myself. Well, I could, but it would be stressful and boring at the same time, with no adult conversation.
Please keep Cole in your mind at the end of the month - just for clear scans and good tests results. Also, please keep Maddie's family in your prayers too. They need it so very badly. My heart breaks for them. Hug your kids!!
lisa
Maddie's family was told in early January that her cancer was back and it was just as bad as it was several years ago when she began this fight. The decided to end her treatment and take her home. So home they went, hospice was now taking care of everything. I cannot begin to imagine what they went through to make those decision. I cannot begin to understand or comprehend. What I do know is that their faith in God was so strong, they knew that by believing in Him, praying to Him, asking Him for comfort in their time of need - that will get them through those weeks at home waiting to see what would happen. I prayed each night before bed for Maddie and that her and her mom especially would have time together to make some very special memories that Brandi would hold close to her heart forever. I prayed that she would have a good nights sleep, and a wonderful day with her family, I prayed for a miracle.
On Saturday morning at 3:19am Maddie got her miracle. Not the one I had prayed for exactly but a miracle nontheless. Maddie left her family, holding her mom and dad's hand early Saturday morning. I can't imagine their heartbreak. It took all morning yesterday for me to even get the lump out of my throat. I couldn't even tell Jason because I was so close to tears everytime I thought about telling him - another sweet baby we know is gone.
So the second day of the month was just sad. I hugged Cole a few extra times and was so thankful that he was making a mess in the living room!! I know without a doubt that Maddie's parents would much rather be picking up her toys every day than picking up the pieces of their broken heart and trying to live without her. I wish they could have the joys I have with Cole. We were just so lucky to have the kind of cancer Cole had. I never thought, back then, three years ago, that I would be glad that we had a 'good' cancer. But we did. We were so lucky. We are still lucky. Lucky that we had cupcakes Thursday to celebrate the three year cancer free anniversary. Cole doesn't understand it at all. He never heard the word cancer. I try to tell him things now but he just doesn't get it. And you know, it's ok. He'll get it later and for now, I'm just thankful that he'll be here for me to share the story with.
We head back to Memphis at the end of this month for a big check up. Since it's the anniversary of Cole beginning treatment he'll have all the tests he's had before again. Xray's, psych testing, lots of stuff!! I'm nervous already - just a bit. I always am until we get the word from Dr. Gajjar that everything is fine. Clear scans. He always says it like he knew they would be fine, but no one knows - well God knows of course. Sometimes I just wish He'd clue me in a bit, so I wouldn't stress so much. Jason has to work and has school too, so he isn't making the trip. That stinks. I hate going without him. My mom is going with us though so that will help a ton. I'll be glad for the company - there's no way I could go through the whole thing by myself. Well, I could, but it would be stressful and boring at the same time, with no adult conversation.
Please keep Cole in your mind at the end of the month - just for clear scans and good tests results. Also, please keep Maddie's family in your prayers too. They need it so very badly. My heart breaks for them. Hug your kids!!
lisa
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