Continuing on Cole's story - here's what I wrote on January 28th, 2005:
We went to the hospital this morning packed for the weekend. Before we left, we took a picture of Cole standing by the front door, ready to go. It was the last picture of the old Cole we would have. We stopped at WalMart for a toy, some snacks, possibly peace of mind that some part of the world was still normal.
The first procedure was to place a temporary shunt in Cole's head to drain the fluid that was causing so much pressure. We headed to surgery where we would be with Cole until they were ready for him. The plan was that a nurse would take him back to surgery but we could be with his while they did a little paper work and got everything ready. This was very scary since Cole would be awake and have to leave us with some strange nurse he didn't know. We prayed and prayed that Cole would fall asleep before they took him. Just in time, our prayers were answered.
This was a fairly quick procedure that left Cole with a shaved head and bandaged head. He was so brave and strong, we were amazed. When he woke up, he was very upset and scared. He immediately wanted his daddy. Cole was normally a Mommy's baby, so to want Daddy was strange for me. In one way, I was sad he wanted someone else, in another relieved because I was scared to pick him up and possibly hurt anything. He was hooked up to so many wires and tubes. Jason say in recovery holding Cole, praying, crying and gaining strength he would need for this journey. Later, he told me that this was a journey from him and Cole. He felt like several things had happened to him recently that prepared him for this. I didn't ask for an explanation. I knew that it probably wasn't something he could put into words. I was so proud of him for being the wonderful father that he is, but I was heartbroken at the same time. Cole didn't need me at a time when I desperately needed him!
The weekend was filled with many visitors and prayers for our baby, while he was in ICU. We were overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and care for us and Cole. The thing that surprised me the most was how brave Cole was. He simply adapted to this new situation with such ease. His bandage on his head was larger than necessary to keep him from touching the incision. The end of the bandage was tied into several knots and Cole decided that he had a tail just like Eeyore. He told everyone around that he had a tail like Eeyore. He loved it. He also asked everyone for a toy when they came to visit. So the spoiling would begin.
In ICU he was in a hospital baby crib. It was terrible for us not to be able to snuggle up there with him. But with the spoiling came lots of cuddly soft stuffed animals that kept him company. He also snuggled a ton with his baby blanket, which was mine when I was a baby.
Again, WOW - I'm so amazed by Cole, each and every day!!