Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy New Year - a few days late

Well, I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  We headed to Mobile and had a little late Christmas with Jason's family.  The rain was horrible on the way there, but by the time we were ready to get out again it had cleared up and cooled off.  The rest of the weekend was nice - cold, but nice. 

I've been thinking about my word for 2011 (FOCUS) and how I need to apply it to me life.  What specifically I want to really focus on.  How I'm going to tackle focusing!!  I have lots of things I feel are issues for me that I need to focus on dealing with - making peace with a few things, just plan getting over some things.  We all have issues, right?

Anyway, we are back in the swing of things here - school, work and homework and chores.  I really dislike Tuesday's and Thursday's.  I don't mind the work part of the day - it's the 40-45 minute drive to work and getting home at 6 or later.  It's the dishes in the sink, the laundry that's not finished, the homework, the dinner that needs to be cooked.  UGH.  It's hard.  I need to focus on a better way to tackle those things.  My parents help Cole with homework, so that's not always an issue - but the household chores are!!  I need to get a system down and make it work for me - and I need to work at it.  Focusing on my home and keeping it in order is important to me. 

Things would be better if I was teaching - in my own classroom - I'd be home earlier most of the time.  Work would be consistent, and it isn't always now.  Our income would change and I would feel like my contribution to our household would be appreciated more.  Plus, I would be doing what I feel I'm here to do.  Why do I have no confidence in myself though?  Why am I not running after that job?  About two months ago, I heard this at church - "I want you to get out there and walk -- better yet, run! -- on the road God called you to travel.  I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands.  I don't want anyone strolling off down some path that goes nowhere." (Ephesians 4:1 MSG)

I don't think I'm sitting on my hands, but I'm not running.  Not really even walking at a brisk pace.  I did run.  I ran a lot - I put faith in my efforts and they didn't pan out.  I felt defeated, so I guess I stopped running.  I need to focus on that - I need to run after what I want, what I need and feel like I'm meant to do.  Maybe that focus should be on Cole and teaching his as much as I can at home.  Helping his as much as I can.  Maybe I was running in the wrong direction?  I don't know.

In 2007, I lost almost 50 pounds - that's roughly a seven year old boy.  That's a lot of weight.  In 2008, we went to Disney World and enjoyed the dining plan.  I gained a little back.  In 2009 I thought I could eat whatever I wanted again.  I gained a little more back.  In 2010 I had a beautiful bridesmaids dress to get into.  I lost 20 pounds and finally reached my original goal from 2007.  Then Disney World happened again.  A few pounds creeped back into my life.  This year I'm focusing on a new goal.  I'll reach it, too.  In 2012, I'm not going to have to focus on this again because I won't let ice cream rule my life!! :D

See, I have so much to focus on and this is just about half of what I've been thinking about!  Only half!! WOW.  I need to focus on focusing and get my priorities in order.  This week I will focus on making a list.  A list of what I want to focus on.  Then a list of how I plan to tackle those things. 

Who knows what will happen next week.  I just hope I can keep my focus!!!


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