My Ideal Day
It seems a little silly for me to describe my ideal day when I’ve enjoyed so many already in my life: the day I was married, the day my son was born, or the day I graduated from college (which was just this year). Then there was August 21st, 2004, the day before my son started showing strange symptoms that would eventually lead to the diagnosis I feared the most – a cancerous brain tumor. Or it could be the day he became cancer free. An ideal day? Well, now that I think about it, this really may be easy.
An ideal day in my world three years ago would probably have included a shopping spree for my son, husband and me. That spree would have included fancy cars, toys, a new home filled with the best of everything and scrapbook supplies I’ve only dreamed of. Just a winning lottery ticket and I would be there. But now, an ideal day for me seems like something that sadly, I may never see in my lifetime. Something I pray to see. Something I pray for the whole world to see.
My ideal day would be a day where no child has cancer, a day where the halls of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital are empty. There are no wheelchairs, wagons, or strollers being pushed around with sweet little bald headed passengers. No beeping IV pumps or toxic chemotherapy drugs flowing into someone’s veins. No children or families questioning God as to why this has happened to them. No one hanging on to all they have with HOPE. As much as I love and respect the very foundation that is this hospital, I wish the nurses, doctors, administrators and child life specialists were jobless. As clean of a place the hospital is, on my ideal day, there would be cobwebs and dust a mile high.
I know that this day is far, far away and I may never see it. I know that many parents have hoped and prayed for the same thing. I know that each day of my life I will be thankful that my child survived and heartbroken for the children that haven’t or won’t. I know that I’ll do whatever I can in the future to raise money and awareness. I know that with my help, and the help of people I reach out to, my ideal day has a better chance of coming true. I know that because of the research my son was a part of that some other little boy may not have to go through quite as much. I know that there was another little boy before mine that helped to make his life better.
So maybe instead of holding out for this ideal day, I’ll keep remembering how lucky I am to have each and every day here with my son. I’ll be thankful for the part he has played in cancer research. I will be grateful to the parts other children played before him. I will do as much as I can to work toward this ideal day. I will live life to the fullest and enjoy each moment as it comes. And if I ever win the lottery by chance, I won’t go shopping, at least not until after I give a huge chunk of it to pediatric cancer research. I would love to see my ideal day come true. Even if it doesn’t benefit my own child, think of all the sweet babies that would be running around with a head full of hair who would not even know what the word cancer meant. That is my ideal day – a world with no cancer.
It seems a little silly for me to describe my ideal day when I’ve enjoyed so many already in my life: the day I was married, the day my son was born, or the day I graduated from college (which was just this year). Then there was August 21st, 2004, the day before my son started showing strange symptoms that would eventually lead to the diagnosis I feared the most – a cancerous brain tumor. Or it could be the day he became cancer free. An ideal day? Well, now that I think about it, this really may be easy.
An ideal day in my world three years ago would probably have included a shopping spree for my son, husband and me. That spree would have included fancy cars, toys, a new home filled with the best of everything and scrapbook supplies I’ve only dreamed of. Just a winning lottery ticket and I would be there. But now, an ideal day for me seems like something that sadly, I may never see in my lifetime. Something I pray to see. Something I pray for the whole world to see.
My ideal day would be a day where no child has cancer, a day where the halls of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital are empty. There are no wheelchairs, wagons, or strollers being pushed around with sweet little bald headed passengers. No beeping IV pumps or toxic chemotherapy drugs flowing into someone’s veins. No children or families questioning God as to why this has happened to them. No one hanging on to all they have with HOPE. As much as I love and respect the very foundation that is this hospital, I wish the nurses, doctors, administrators and child life specialists were jobless. As clean of a place the hospital is, on my ideal day, there would be cobwebs and dust a mile high.
I know that this day is far, far away and I may never see it. I know that many parents have hoped and prayed for the same thing. I know that each day of my life I will be thankful that my child survived and heartbroken for the children that haven’t or won’t. I know that I’ll do whatever I can in the future to raise money and awareness. I know that with my help, and the help of people I reach out to, my ideal day has a better chance of coming true. I know that because of the research my son was a part of that some other little boy may not have to go through quite as much. I know that there was another little boy before mine that helped to make his life better.
So maybe instead of holding out for this ideal day, I’ll keep remembering how lucky I am to have each and every day here with my son. I’ll be thankful for the part he has played in cancer research. I will be grateful to the parts other children played before him. I will do as much as I can to work toward this ideal day. I will live life to the fullest and enjoy each moment as it comes. And if I ever win the lottery by chance, I won’t go shopping, at least not until after I give a huge chunk of it to pediatric cancer research. I would love to see my ideal day come true. Even if it doesn’t benefit my own child, think of all the sweet babies that would be running around with a head full of hair who would not even know what the word cancer meant. That is my ideal day – a world with no cancer.
So, I didn't win, but I did do so great pages and wrote about something important! And now I have 12 new layouts to show off! Actually - 13 - here's one I just did this morning for ScrapJacked - check it out!
Cole thinks it's funny to chase the flash when I take pictures. The bad thing is the flash happens right before the picture takes - so I get a lot of pictures with arms in the air - hands flailing about! But he's so cute - once he finishes that, I end up with a really great smile and the perfect picture!! I'm so lucky he's mine!
lisa
7 comments:
You did a great job!!! i've been chickening out of SOY for two years now... so you go girl!!!
Your layouts look gorgeous.
georgous!! i love all
lisa... that is a great essay... soo touching to read... you should have won with just the essay alone... i really enjoyed seeing your work.. ill be posting mine as soon as i feel some motivation...
lololol... im going to register for class tomorrow.... im soo excited..pray for me... im probably the oldest student...
hugs
Your LO are gorgeous! It seems like forever since I have done any scrapbooking....I guess my motivation has just fizzled! maybe I'll get re-inspired soon! :)
I think it speaks volumes that you took the time to give it a try. You have some fun layouts and thank you for sharing your story.
OMG I just read your essay...I am about to BAWL and I never cry at stuff! I wish you could have just won based on your perfect day! *sniffle*
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