Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Who long can you carry a grudge?

I've been known to carry a grudge for a very long time. To the point where others have forgotten the incident even happened but I still remember detail after detail. And I can easily get mad about it all over again. I know - I have issues!

Have you ever had someone yell at you for something that was completely out of your control? And you suddenly felt as though you had to yell back because that's the only way you could be heard, and you instantly jump into defense mode? Then you realize you are defending something set forth by someone else and you don't entirely support the 'cause' but still have to go along with the game anyway! Jeez - that sounds like an awful day huh? Well, it was my day Friday at school. A grandparent and parent yelled at me - I certainly raised my voice back (no doubt about that - or they would have never even heard me!) and I see why the incident happened to begin with. I can now look back and see the evolution of that very moment and completely see that it was not my fault or my doing. But there is still nothing I can do about it - how it happened or the outcome or what will happen upon returning to school! But what I CAN do is not ever make the mistakes I've seen made in classrooms. I can certainly learn what NOT to do! That's what is so hard. When we are placed in classrooms, you think, wow this teacher is great. But then the newness of the situation wears off and you see what the classroom environment is really like. That's why you really learn how things operate in the room. That's when you see what you will and will not repeat in the long run.

So now I've learned what not to do in many situations but I still dread returning to school and dealing with the aftermath of the 'grandma verbal attack'! I feel as though no explanation is going to be good enough. I can be really honest with an administrator and tell her what I think, but she may come down on the teacher who in turn has to evaluate me. So what to do? I haven't a clue!!!! I hate being put in the middle of a situation and having one side not acknowledge what has happened and have the other side (grandma) living across the street from me. I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!

So my Spring Break should be fun filled and enjoyable and instead I'm carrying the grudge of the grandma verbal attack and the dread of returning to school next week. SO not fun! And four days later and I still haven't heard from my teacher. So that doesn't help any - at all!

We are enjoying our time out of school, despite the situation! My cousin and her girls are here and Cole is loving having 'the girls' here! Hunter has colored with Cole and played Dora and Diego so much. It's so sweet to see them playing together. Bailey has taken over the laptop and seems to have it attached to her lap now. I'm not sure what will happen when they go home. Will she have withdrawals? Will she need some type of computer withdrawal counseling? Oh to be 13 and think the world is revolving around you!

We spent yesterday letting the girls shop (what an adventure - I'm so glad I have a boy!) and we went for lunch at LuLu's! Oh I love LuLu's and the LuLu's way of life. Cole now has a new LuLu's shirt for the summer! Today - who knows what lies ahead! The girls are still sleeping, so I'm hopping on the computer while I still have a chance! I wonder if they even realize when I was their age, I didn't have a computer, or IPOD, or cell phone. I think I was probably reading books, watching some television and talking on a phone that had huge push buttons!! Seems like a lifetime ago!

Well, if anyone has grudge advice - about how to just let it go - let me know. It's been an issue for me for a while now!! I hope if you are on Spring Break this week you are enjoying it and having a true break! I know I'm trying! If I can get some scrapbooking in - I'll be a happy camper!

have a wonderful day

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